What a timid and overcautious bridesmaid I am...and ready to runaway. Yeah, I am a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding on this Saturday. But I am intensely afraid what will happend. In fact, I do hate being in the spotlight. It's my nightmare. I guess the cause is from my deep inferiority complex. I always lack of confidence about my looks, fat figure, and anything else.
I think this topic is too depressed, so change another one. Hmmm, I wrote this blog while listening to songs of Nirvana, Kurt Cobain is my favourite. I can't forget that night, first time I listened to the song named"where did u sleep last night", and is attracted me with Kurt's deep and heavy-hearted voice. That voice beat me in despair. Oh no, why do I always cannot get out of sad mood tonight? So, bedtime now, Do not think confusedly.
Good nigth, buddy. (expecially Thomas, I haven't seen u for a long time. I wish everyting is perfect with you, and you got offers what you want.)
2010年4月27日星期二
2010年4月9日星期五
Thomas said...
Thomas isn't Native English Speaker, just like me. During our conversation, we often make grammatical mistakes. Who cares. Language is not problem, the most important is, he gave me a hand,saving me out the hard situation.
When I get depressed, I always wanna talk with him. Like last conversation, i told him my best friend betrayed me, she broke my heart. But I did't tell her I had known the truth, because i was afraid that it would make her to feel embarrassed. We grow up together, nothing is more important than our friendship.Though i still feel sad,I could pretend as if nothing has happened.
Thomas said, if you tell her how do you feel and what happended, it's a great friendship, and your friendship won't break. With a good friend we can talk everything.
In my opinion, Thomas is not only my psychologist, but also a philosopher. He has keen observation, he realized my bad mood came from a variety of sources, not just the betrayal of friend. Then he taught me a good way ——————
When I get depressed, I always wanna talk with him. Like last conversation, i told him my best friend betrayed me, she broke my heart. But I did't tell her I had known the truth, because i was afraid that it would make her to feel embarrassed. We grow up together, nothing is more important than our friendship.Though i still feel sad,I could pretend as if nothing has happened.
Thomas said, if you tell her how do you feel and what happended, it's a great friendship, and your friendship won't break. With a good friend we can talk everything.
In my opinion, Thomas is not only my psychologist, but also a philosopher. He has keen observation, he realized my bad mood came from a variety of sources, not just the betrayal of friend. Then he taught me a good way ——————
Thomas：This is my best suggestion which i can give. Tell yourself every morning and evening, and relax before you tell it. The following sentence, "I love myself really very much without condition". If you change your relation with yourself, the things around you will also change. And if you really love yourself, you will find a lot more love in other people. I can't tell you in words how important is this sentence. Write it on papers, draw it on the wall, and read it every day. I have never heard a better practice in my life, when i did that for a month, a lot of things changed.Some people told me that this sentence is a little selfish, NO NO NO! How can we live with any other people, if we don't love ourselves? If you will use this exercise，that will make my day very bright.
Isabella：I promise, I will.
Isabella：I promise, I will.
Yes, i promise. Now I feel better than before. If I could make it through the darkest night i have a brighter day. I will be fine, be better. Thank you very much, Thomas.
2010年4月3日星期六
A Letter to Thomas
Thomas,
I told you “loneliness makes my heart strong” last time. You asked why, I’d like to share my points and experience with you.
You know, Due to the result of China’s family planning policy, the present family in China normally consists of parents and only child. I am also a only daughter. When I was a little girl, I often played with myself. Sometimes, I complained about loneliness for lack of companion. But as time passes, I adapt myself to the loneliness and like being alone. When I am alone at home, I like reading, writing, watching DVD, surfing the Internet, being in a daze…This is my typical of the day: a person, books, DVDS, and computer. Maybe it sounds boring, but I find it helps me to keep calm and stay focused.
For me, loneliness may not be bad for I grow up. Sometimes, loneliness is such a powerful self-healing process. It helps me to internalize, retrospect, and contemplate. Take travel for example, when I travel alone, I have to confront loneliness and fears. And I also have to face lots of difficulty and unknown dangers alone. It makes me deeply despair but at the same time incredibly sensitive. When I waited in the airport lounge for many hours, when I walked alone on my way, when I stayed in the railway station for a whole night while waiting patiently until morning came, deeply loneliness flood me. At the same time, it also makes me more keen observation and more thorough thinking. The less you said, the more you observe and think. I have enough time and private space to listen to my real voices.
Last summer, I traveled to Lijiang alone. This is a wonderful graduation trip. At that time, there is the confusion of life. For one thing, role of conversion (from a college student to a staff) threw me into panic. For another, my job faced an uncertain future. Travel is like life, you never know what will happen. In my trip, I must have courage to face all sorts of unknown difficulties and solve problems on my own. Perhaps this is the biggest obstacle: how to struggle against loneliness, despair, fear and pain. I don't wanna escape from them. Just enjoy! I believe these frightening words enable me to form positive view of life, optimism of spirit and invincible courage. That’s why I said “loneliness makes my heart strong”.
However, be alone does not mean I refuse help and concern from friends. In fact, friends, dream and knowledge are the energy of my life. Friends can teach me, I can be stimulated to overcome all obstacles to realize my ambitions. For example, on the trip to Lijiang, when I chatted with a roommate in international youth hostel, she asked me many interesting questions: What is the purpose of your solo trip? What kind of life you want to live? How to lead your life? How to make your dream come true? How to find a bridge between dream and reality… I considered these questions in my whole trip. Fortunately, because of her inspiration, finally I knew my real views and got aim.
Isabella
I told you “loneliness makes my heart strong” last time. You asked why, I’d like to share my points and experience with you.
You know, Due to the result of China’s family planning policy, the present family in China normally consists of parents and only child. I am also a only daughter. When I was a little girl, I often played with myself. Sometimes, I complained about loneliness for lack of companion. But as time passes, I adapt myself to the loneliness and like being alone. When I am alone at home, I like reading, writing, watching DVD, surfing the Internet, being in a daze…This is my typical of the day: a person, books, DVDS, and computer. Maybe it sounds boring, but I find it helps me to keep calm and stay focused.
For me, loneliness may not be bad for I grow up. Sometimes, loneliness is such a powerful self-healing process. It helps me to internalize, retrospect, and contemplate. Take travel for example, when I travel alone, I have to confront loneliness and fears. And I also have to face lots of difficulty and unknown dangers alone. It makes me deeply despair but at the same time incredibly sensitive. When I waited in the airport lounge for many hours, when I walked alone on my way, when I stayed in the railway station for a whole night while waiting patiently until morning came, deeply loneliness flood me. At the same time, it also makes me more keen observation and more thorough thinking. The less you said, the more you observe and think. I have enough time and private space to listen to my real voices.
Last summer, I traveled to Lijiang alone. This is a wonderful graduation trip. At that time, there is the confusion of life. For one thing, role of conversion (from a college student to a staff) threw me into panic. For another, my job faced an uncertain future. Travel is like life, you never know what will happen. In my trip, I must have courage to face all sorts of unknown difficulties and solve problems on my own. Perhaps this is the biggest obstacle: how to struggle against loneliness, despair, fear and pain. I don't wanna escape from them. Just enjoy! I believe these frightening words enable me to form positive view of life, optimism of spirit and invincible courage. That’s why I said “loneliness makes my heart strong”.
However, be alone does not mean I refuse help and concern from friends. In fact, friends, dream and knowledge are the energy of my life. Friends can teach me, I can be stimulated to overcome all obstacles to realize my ambitions. For example, on the trip to Lijiang, when I chatted with a roommate in international youth hostel, she asked me many interesting questions: What is the purpose of your solo trip? What kind of life you want to live? How to lead your life? How to make your dream come true? How to find a bridge between dream and reality… I considered these questions in my whole trip. Fortunately, because of her inspiration, finally I knew my real views and got aim.
Isabella
订阅：
博文 (Atom)
